Last year
was full of good and not so good experiences. I learned some life lessons
easily, others in the rude way.
However,
I'm not complaining about these last ones that helped me growing as a person
and broaden my vision as an artist. They also made me realize the people who
are with me forever, no matter where in the world they are. For these people
will always be my eternal gratitude.
Among the
positive things both personally and professionally are:
-
Recognition of years of work.
- Assigning
of projects that demanded a lot of work and attention, but they made me feel
satisfied with the final results.
-
Improvement in the work of the anatomy.
- Practice
of traditional drawing as my pc is damaged and learning techniques that help me
solve with few resources. (Every cloud has a silver lining, we say in my
country;))
- A new
kitten called Sussie, which is now Marilyn sister to keep her company while I'm
at work.
- I was
able to wear high heels after years of not being able to use them for health
issues.
- The
"resurrection" of Versailles!
(Those who know me know I'm a fan of Versailles,
hehehe!)
On things
that were not so well i could say:
- My main
work PC was damaged and I could not fix it so far.
- Some
health issues.
- The loss
of my dear kitten Kiss.
- General
situation of my country that end affecting general level topics.
- I met
great friends that even though they are not physically at my side, they were with
me celebrating the new year with me! Thanks
internet for this!! <3
As you see,
I prefer to make the longest list of good things that the things not as
positive as I want to focus on what I need to improve and leave behind what
does not leave me anything productive or that can no longer be changed.
This year,
on the artistic side, I want to devote myself to improve perspectives and
backgrounds without neglecting the study of anatomy.
I also want
to resume webcomics, that helps me a lot to have fun, get the creative side and
enjoy my favorite characters.
As I can no
longer go to the speed with which I usually work, I decided to take it easy, no
stress, and make a plan to help me work with in order even when my head goes a
thousand revolutions per minute.
I have high
expectations at this like the best stage of my life, however expectations and
desires are nothing if we do not work for them, and the word “work” does not
intimidate me, by the opposite, it motivates me.
I wish for
each and every one of you a great year full of happiness, health and success. Dream
in big and work for it!
It has been a little difficult because my pc is damaged and i`m working with an old one that is very, very slow, so i just review quickly some pages and i prefer to give more attention to continue drawing the manga.
I decided to work on my own Patreon page, so i could buy the piece i need for repair my pc and work faster and with better quality.
I began to put some perks for those who decide to give me support as my patrons for the manga i do.
Take a look at it, and if you can help me to share it! I really want to have my pc working again and work properly ^^
Since I’ve
been working about my shyness to improve (I’m not only shy but introverted too XD ), I’ve
been reading a lot, even more than I normally do. Some of the areas I’ve read are about: PNL,
Emotional Intelligence, leadership, management, time management, coaching,
perfectionism, written about shyness from different points of view, social
media, how to deal with hard people, etc…When more I found, more interesting
themes and books appeared!
I’ve been putting
in practice lately some of the things learned slowly. Today I wanted to do something big! So, before
I left home today to go to the park to make a walk, I thought: -“Ok! I’m open for the new good experiences I
can find in the way!”, and I left home with a little smile.
First thing
that happened was some guys near at my home told me some kind words about my look:
I was wearing sport clothes, no make up, a pony tail (normally I never take my
hair out of my face because I do not like to show my ears, don’t ask me why!! XDD
). Normally, my reaction should be a shy
thanks, blush and hurry my steps. I took a deep breath, smile to them and just
said: thank you! I thought: -“If they
had the courage to say something kind, why don’t accept their kindness?”
When I arrived
to the park, there were many people practicing something like boxing and
kicking discipline with music. I stayed
some minutes looking at them and then an old lady told me: -I would like to do
it too, but I don’t feel comfortable doing it alone, would you like to try with
me? My first thought was “I don’t think
so” but I changed it immediately with: Why not?
Five
minutes later I was kicking and punching on the air and having fun (in my mind I
punched and kicked so many things and people that deserve a big one! XDDD ) I stayed there around 15 minutes having fun
and I continued my walking, meanwhile the old lady continued having a lot of
fun.
In my way, I
found a group of guys very differents: they
had weird costumes (not cosplayers, punkies or rockers…I’m use to with that
kind of costumes and it’s normal for me!), it was a group around 15 guys and
girls, with funny hats, make up, some of them wearing like clowns, singing
together but the weird there was not children with them. I couldn’t avoid staring to them and suddenly,
the one that looked like the leader of the group invited me to join to them. I was very surprised and I didn’t know what
to do! He put me a paper crown and he
said: -You are the Queen for 60 seconds,
which one is your first and unique order Your Highness? I was in shock, so I tried to follow them and
the first thing that came to my mind was: -Well…hug a tree! And everyone was running to look for a tree to
hug!! That made me laugh hard! One of them began to yell: -My tree has ants!
I answer to him: -Hug them!
They deserve it too! And he replied: -No need to hug them! They are walking over me! Every one began to laugh.
I stayed
with them a long time, making jokes, pranking. An old man with a baby looked at us and shout
us with a big smile: -Good morning!! And
we replied to him in the same way! They
explained to me they are a group of people with some stress, depression,
anxiety and even cancer problems that make something like a laughing therapy
and they meet to have fun and play like a children to release the problems. It was very touching for me and I’m very grateful
to met them. They invited me to join to
them next Saturday if I go to the park again.
I continued
my walk. I entered with a shy smile on
my face to the park, at this point I had a very big smile and like magic,
almost all the people that I faced replied with a smile to me and even a very
kind Hello.
I sat under
my favorites trees, and I took my little notebook I was carrying in my belt bag.
I began to write about things I’ve been
able to do during this time I’m working on my shyness behavior. These were the points:
Turn
off the boiler: Too many pressure at
work, personal problems, economic situation, my damaged pc, the economy of my
country…all of these was making me feel like my chest was a boiler near to
explode. My chest was really hurting
when I left home and I couldn’t breathe freely. At this moment, I was breathing freely, there
was no pain in my chest and my heart was not only light, but enlighten with all
the kindness of the people I found.
Don’t
fight, face: I’ve been fighting again shyness since 9 years old. I did some advances but never could be as open
as I would like it. I found a trainer in
leadership that he admits he is introverted, but he is not shy and he makes
awesome exposures about leadership! I
realized when you fight something you reinforce it; you have to admit it first,
recognize it, and then begin to make the plan to change it at your own rhythm. It is very motivational to see your first
progresses and that give you strength to continue doing thing even bigger.
Managing emotions: It’s amazing how you attract situations and knowledge when
you are ready and open to experience it. I wondered how to test my maturity in
emotional intelligence. Normally, I’m
very quiet. I resist too much from the
people and I never show my emotions, but inside I’m dying! XD Things affect me
more than the people around me could imagine. So I began to learn how manage this. And life put me on the way around 4-5 very
rude, unkind and bitter people. The
first one experience not only made me feel sad, depressed, tired, and very
upset but I knew I didn’t managed it correctly and my though was: Well, next time will be better. Next experiences were better and better, I exposed
myself on purpose to study their reactions and mine and now I don’t feel upset
by the things that people do, don’t affect me more that I want and I even feel compassion
for them because not all people knows how to deal with emotions and we don’t
know what kind of experiences they had. This
doesn’t mean I passed the test, just I’m beginning to learn how deal with the
emotions, not take it personally, and how they act is their problem, not mine.
Open
for help, not close yourself: A very
good friend, let me see when I have a problem, I closed inside of myself and I isolate
until I find the solution. And just until that point, I open again to the
people. I always thought I was doing it
to protect others, but I don’t let the solution comes quicker without receive
help.
Destroying barriers: Normally, I don’t touch
people more than a shake hands. When I was with the group I realized that
lately, I’ve been touching more the people on shoulders or arms when I’m
talking or giving them comfort without feel uncomfortable and even without
realize about it. I wander when I began
to do it!
I continued
my walk and in the entry of the park, were everything began I met a guy that is
from other state and it was his first time in the park! We kept talking long time like if we have
years knowing to each other.
I wanted to
share all of this because I have many friends that are dealing with shyness. Only if you have experience it, you could
understand how hard and frustrating can be try and try to surpass that crystal
wall with the world. And if you have a
friend that is shy, don’t push him/her, it’s not helpful tell them how shy they
are, that hurts them even more and lead them to depression. Just respect them,
encourage them for their succeeds even if they are minimum and don’t make jokes
with their weaknesses unless they let you do it. That support is even more priceless.
Take a look, test it, and let me know if you find something that needs correction. The blog section is under construction yet, so it`s only for test now.
I tried to keep it simple, intuitive and with the enough information about the webcomics in one place.
Today, i realize that i`m almost finishing the second part of chapter 8 of "Angel Guardian".
I really cannot believe how far i arrived with this story!
When i decided to work on it, i was in a very bad moment in my personal life, so i decided to take the old concepts and story i wrote years ago and began to rewrite it and remake the characters just like a personal therapy to try to surpass the moment.
At the two weeks of begin to work on the sketches and pages, i received a call. Someone was working in a project of a magazine online and wanted to see my works. When i finished the call i really couldn't believe it!
That was the beginning of the journey. That was the impulse i was needing to begin my path of my dream to make manga.
Nowadays, when i look back i cannot say i wasted my time waiting for the perfect moment to begin. The perfect moment arrived itself. When i look the first pages and compare them with the last done, i cannot feel ashamed but proud of myself to keep compromised to improve. Every single panel is full of happy and cheering days and sad and tearful days.
With this, i learned the following life lessons:
There is not perfect moment to begin something. You make the moment perfect and the decision to begin something is in your own hands.
The begining is hard, but you have to be strong enough to continue if that is your dream.
Cheer yourself! And that will give you energy to cheer others!
In art, what you do today and you think is perfect it will not be at your own eyes in the future. That is normal! So never wait until you can draw perfectly because perfection is a never ending way.
Thanks to everybody that give you a critic. They are your teachers without the title.
And the more important: practice, practice, practice! Day after day, days and nights, in every free moment, in any piece of paper you have.
